PMS Tips For Men

It’s just as important for men to understand about PMS, as it is for women.

Awareness of PMS and how it can impact someones reaction, mood or physicality will only bring positive benefits to yourself and to those who suffer with the condition.

Ignorance is a recipe for disaster, recovery from PMS is ultimately in the hands of the sufferer but support from loved ones makes a huge difference!

So below are my Five Top Tips For Men wishing to help themselves and their loved ones with PMS:

  1. Be aware of your loved ones cycle, make sure she puts a star on the calendar, indicating roughly when her PMS phase will start – If she is not open with her cycle, you will be clueless, which is really not fair on you!
  2. Try to avoid mentioning PMS in the middle of an argument, even if you know that it is the cause – wait until you have both had time to calm down – if you can!
  3. Laugh about PMS, avoid belittling the condition – but a sense of humor, always helps to ease the tension in any situation 🙂
  4. Discuss PMS with your loved one, when she is NOT in her PMS phase !! – normally discussions only happen when the topic is primed due to an argument, caused by the condition.
    Instead I recommend being proactive and speaking about PMS when the phase is over, where you can both have a constructive conversation, allowing you to put positive plans in place for the next phase e.g. swapping of chores that may help ease the pressure etc.
  5. Of course #5 is… read http://www.happymonth.co.ukKnowledge is Power!

 

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The Most Important Word for PMS Reduction

This is simple, “Transparency”

Transparency implies Openness, Communication, and Accountability.

If you are open, then you will no longer have to hide your symptoms.

If you communicate, then you will provide people with a much needed understanding of why you are not as relaxed / happy / energised, as normal.

If you are accountable, then you accept that it is your decision if you do not tell people, if you do nothing during the month to ease your symptoms e.g. exercise, diet choices, meditation.

… and you accept that by doing nothing, you are actually deciding to have that same argument again with your loved ones!

By doing nothing, nothing will change …

So what could you do this month?

183717-Robin-S-Sharma-Quote-Knowing-what-to-do-and-not-doing-it-is-the

The Holistic Approach for PMS

After a number of years of lived experience and research on the topic of PMS. I now firmly believe that we do not just have PMS for no reason, I believe that it is due to some kind of turbulence found in one or more of the life areas listed below:

PMS Building Blocks

These areas above can be described simply as:

Now = The present moment

Your Future = Our expectations, goals, dreams

Your Beliefs = Your core values and principles

Your Past = Your history and experiences

Each area above plays a vital role in your emotional state.

If you experience stress, negativity, unhappiness in one or more of these areas then your body will need to express this, due to the build up of stored emotions, meaning that if you are prone to PMS, then this is where it will show up, with potentially severe symptoms.

If you are not a sufferer of PMS then you may experience the build up in another way, for example back pain, frequent colds etc.

So, if you . . 

Do not like your job, your situation at home (Now)
Have no direction in life, no ambition, no focus (Your Future)
Have a loved one who is not respecting one of your core values (Your Beliefs)
Have experienced a traumatic event that is still unresolved / unprocessed (Your Past)

Then you will have some kind of physical and/or mental symptom because of this.

What does this mean?

It means that to resolve PMS you need to take a holistic approach.

PMS is not the problem, PMS is trying to communicate to you that there is a disturbance in your life that needs to be resolved and it is likely to be found in one or more of the areas listed above.

By using this approach I have managed to reduce my own severe symptoms to a level where they are now hardly even evident!

So forget about PMS, instead shift your focus to the study and research of your own happiness, this in turn will lead you to the path of recovery and rejuvenation!

Happy Month 🙂

It’s all in the planning

It’s been a few months since I last created a blog post; the main reason is that I needed to spend some time on my own battle with PMS.

As I have frequently stated on this site, I have constantly improved on my own symptoms with a lot of hard work and commitment to the journey.

But I am human, and sometimes I don’t have a “Happy Month”, in fact, I have a completely miserable one, luckily it’s not that often, but it does happen!

So I wanted to spend some time finding out what are the real differences between a good and bad month, in areas such as: my daily routines, eating habits, fitness and communication.

With this insight, I then hope to be able to reduce my symptom further and to be able to share these findings with everyone who reads this blog.

So what did I notice?

Good Month

Awareness:  On a good month, I am always fully aware of where I am in my cycle

Fitness: I have a regular fitness routine, adapting at the PMS stage to incorporate activities that will still be achievable with a reduction in my energy

Eating Habits: A good diet with fresh food, water, only two cups of coffee a day and the odd treat*
*everyone needs a treat

Lifestyle: Fully enjoying work and life, knowingly reducing the pace when approaching PMS stage and being kind to myself for doing so.

Communication: Proactive PMS updates e.g. Adding a star to my Calendar, highlighting the estimated start day of my PMS phase and an openness with my loved ones.

Bad Month

Ignorance: No awareness of where I am in my cycle, my mind is busy thinking of future tasks/events that I need to do

Fitness: 2 weeks of regular exercise and then 2 weeks of procrastination and nothingness!

Eating Habits: A good diet for two weeks and then a gradual increase of too much caffeine and undeserved treats 😦

Lifestyle: Trying to keep the pace of life at a constant level for the whole month and when unable to meet my own expectations, adding more tasks on to my to-do list

Communication: “It’s not PMS, I’m fine… “

As you have read, there is a big difference between a good and bad month and the list clearly highlights that there are many elements to focus on if you wish to reduce your symptoms, not just one.

But the biggest piece of advice that I could give, is that it all starts with awareness and being mindful of the present moment and where you are in your cycle.

If you get lost in your work, children, tasks, and to-do lists, then you will never be able to spot the signs that you are about to move into your PMS phase, instead your eureka moment will come in the middle of an argument or at the end of the month, when you would have wasted two weeks of being down, unmotivated and unhappy.

So don’t let PMS win, become aware, make those needed lifestyle changes and have the Happy Month that you deserve.

HappyMonth Plan

Have you taken action yet?

I have met a number of people over the years who are very aware that they have PMS, maybe they have read some books, watched some YouTube videos… but most have never actually taken any action, even though they have spent many hours researching different tools and techniques.

Maybe these people are just not ready…? As to be honest, it does take a huge amount of commitment to achieve any real results and to ensure that they stay a habitual part of your life.

PMS can be cured! …. But it really depends on if you are ready for the journey?

The journey can be very long, filled with many lows at first, but it’s so fantastic when you actually start to see results for yourself, such as improvements in relationships, reduction in monthly tension and of course your first fully Happy Month, wow that’s a great feeling!

So are you ready to take action?

If you are, then you may be interested to know that I am in the process of writing a 31 day workbook, which will aid you in your journey to become PMS free…. and I hope that this will be available from Amazon very soon!

PMS Action

How am I feeling today?

PMS

So what does it really take to have a Happy Month? – To be honest it is as simple as starting a new habit!

To reduce your PMS symptoms it is vital for you to become aware of how you feel in the present moment.

As you know, we all have busy lives and we all get lost in our daily routines and habits, meaning hours can pass by which we have no recollection of when we try to think back about our day.

The best way to describe this state of mind is to compare it with a hypnotic state where we switch off our thoughts and memory and then let our unconscious minds take control.

But this state of mind can be very dangerous, especially during the PMS phase of the menstrual cycle, as it means that you can easily react negatively to a situation before you even realise it, all because the mind is following the “normal routine”.

So to reduce your PMS you need to break this unconscious routine and start a new habit!

Sounds relatively simple? Yes it is, but the unconscious mind is very stubborn and will try to take control back from you at any given moment…

So to combat this, I have found the below task to be incredibly successful but you do need to fully commit to the task and also become incredibly disciplined with it, so that it becomes your new daily habit.

The task – “Start a new routine”

So for this task, I first need you to go out and buy a new notebook or diary, which will become your personal PMS diary.

Once you have the notebook, I would like you to start a new page every day, first writing the date and secondly the following question:

How do I truly feel today?

For the answer to the question I would like you to look deep into your heart with honesty and write exactly how you feel underneath the question.

There is no right or wrong answer, it’s just about being totally honest with yourself and really noticing every emotion and feeling being experienced in the present moment.

Once you have your answer, please read it and think about what you need today to ensure you have a good day, for example:

Maybe you need to talk about how you are feeling to a loved one?

Maybe you need to reduce your workload for the day?

Maybe you need some time on your own to relax?

or maybe you just need a hug?

Whatever it is, I promise this task will help you to find out what you truly need today and will become one of the first steps in stopping your PMS for good!

Conquer PMS: Honesty with yourself and others

The more you hide your feelings, the more they show. The more you deny your feelings, the more they grow. ~Unknown

If you suffer with one or more of the psychological symptoms associated with PMS e.g. irritability, mood swings, depression….. The above quote must ring true; I know it certainly does with me!

For some reason when I used to suffer with PMS and experience a low mood, I would state the now classic and favourite quote of mine which is “I’m fine”…. but actually, on the inside I was experiencing enough frustration to kick a door down and on the outside I would be as warm as an artic winter!

But “I was fine”! ….. In fact, it was everyone else with the low mood, not me!

Does the above sound familiar?

As women with PMS we know that the hiding of our emotions is not something we do on purpose, but it is something that seems to happen at unconscious level…. and as Guy Finley eloquently states in his book “The Secret of Letting Go”:

The inner determines the outer.

For example, if a person writing a letter misspells a word, the error starts in the person’s mind, after which it appears on the paper. The word can not be corrected until the mind is corrected first. If mind is not corrected, the error will endlessly repeat itself on paper.

So with this knowledge in mind, physiological symptoms of PMS should be reduced by actively working on the following four self development areas listed below:

  1. Develop Awareness skills and learn to become consciously aware of every thought and feeling being experienced, so that you can consciously decide how to react or respond to the outside world.
  2. Develop honesty and compassion with yourself.
  3. Learn how to communicate openly to your loved ones, so that they know how PMS is truly making you feel.

and number 4….the most important…. but sometimes hard to hear!

  •  Learn to take responsibility and action for yourself by actively seeking to improve in the above areas day by day, month by month.

The path to curing PMS is not easy, but it can be done and I hope that by reading this blog your journey will be made just that little bit easier.

Chrissie.